Their Wedding was in Two Weeks

Preface: Do you remember those words and phrases you misheard as a child and for years called the thing by the wrong name, in a way that gave it new meaning? There's actually a term for such a phenomenon: mondegreen. Last year, I put out a call for mondegreens from Facebook friends, and then created this poem using as many as I could. Have fun with this! I hope it brings you back to all the mishearing you did as a child.

Their Wedding was in Two Weeks

It was the Fourth of July. We sat on the front porch,

my soon-to-be stepfather drinking cold dark Geniuses

as I colored my picture with crowns. Later that night

the whole city would let off chiropractors and we would join

all the human beans to watch them crack and pop in the sky.

Mom asked, Did I want to be the Ring Bear?

but I refused to be the family pet. She begged,

said she’d take me to the Ornament Park in Miami

where I could ride the swinging pirate ship.

I raised my eyebrows and answered, Your ami?

Suddenly my stepfather exclaimed,

Everyone climb in the fuck! We have Erins to run!

Mom picked up the baby and I stood,

put my crowns away for later. I had sat too long

and my leg was all beans and noodles.

We drove to the fish market to order souls for dinner,

then stopped at Macys for Mom to buy a zucchini

to wear on their honeymoon. I stared out the window

as my stepfather lectured about guacamole, the leading cause

of blindness. I never believed his old wise tales.

When he slammed on the breaks to let a woman walk

the Presbyterian Crossing, my sister started to cry.

She wanted us to pass a fire. Mom found it, put it in her mouth

but she whimpered the rest of the way home.

My mother hadn’t noticed that the fire was out.

first published in Noctua Review. Volume 9. New Haven: Phoenix Press. Fall 2016. Print.