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A poetry review of "Choose Your Own Adventure: The Galapagos Mating Dance"

from PMF Johnson's review of Rattle #60 (Summer 2018 issue):

"Maybe the most original and creative poem in the issue is by Caroline N. Simpson. “Choose Your Own Adventure: The Galapagos Mating Dance.” “You are a single woman, about to embark upon your most challenging and dangerous mission.” The header explains what ‘you’ are to do — discover a useful mating ritual. Then it’s on to Chapter One: “You are a blue-footed booby. / A male approaches you… He offers you twigs and grasses.” The tone is so fun, the parallels with human rituals so apt. There are several chapters in this long poem, each describing the rituals of a different creature, with many laughs, but often rueful ones. There is such a loneliness underneath — they say true humor arises from the truth, and that is true here. Ms. Simpson is very much an ecologist of the heart. As the Chapters unfold, the reader is allowed at points to choose to move to a different section, depending on whether this current ritual appeals or not. What a genius structure. And the ending Chapter, Seven, has a most satisfactory conclusion. A poem worth hunting down this issue for."

"poetry commentary: Commentary on poetry in current U.S. magazines" by PMF Johnson

June 21, 2018 

Choose Your Own Adventure: The Galápagos Mating Dance

first published in Rattle, Summer 2018, Issue #60. Listen to my recording of this poem on their site.

Choose Your Own Adventure:

The Galápagos Mating Dance

You are a single woman, about to embark upon your most challenging and dangerous mission. Equipped with a libido and the instinct to bear children, your objective is to find the perfect mating ritual in the Galápagos Islands. You bravely face elaborate courtship dances, rough foreplay, and single parenting – but will you return to the U.S. with the partnership pattern that works for you?

Chapter One

You are a blue-footed booby.

A male approaches you

and begins to dance,

taking giant steps in place

to flaunt his turquoise feet,

indicators of his health.

If red throat pouches

are more of a turn-on,

skip to Chapter Two.

He offers you twigs and grasses,

symbols of the nest

you will build together.

Impressed, you dance too,

face-to-face walking

on a treadmill.

You mirror each movement,

a connection found

in how much you can act

like one another.

His dancing escalates-

wingtips, tail, beak

all point skywards.

When you match

his sky pointing,

the bond is sealed.

He whistles; you honk.

Even after nesting begins,

you continue to dance.

If you would rather

he stop trying to get it on,

so you can focus

on being a mom,

skip to Chapter Three.

You both incubate the eggs,

taking breaks only to hunt.

While you are off to eat,

he strays from the nest,

dances the booby-two-step

with other females,

but when you return,

he comes back immediately.

If you prefer a partner

who can abstain

from flirting with others,

go to Chapter Two.

Your family stays together

six months, one season.

Once the juvenile leaves the nest,

you both move on to new mates-

no empty nest syndrome for you.

If you prefer a partner

to grow old with,

rekindling the romance

once the kids are gone,

skip to Chapter Six.

Chapter Two

 

You are a great frigatebird

soaring above a sea of males,

fishing for your mate.

If you prefer he

be the one to choose,

skip ahead to Chapter Three.

He perches in a bush,

having spent twenty minutes

inflating his throat pouch

into a red balloon.

When he sees you,

he loses control,

spreads his wings,

erupts in a shrill cry

and a fit of head-shaking,

the bloated red throat waggling.

It is not the size of the sac

that gets your attention,

but the nesting spot he chose.

If the quality of his nest

is not how you shop for lovers,

return to Chapter One.

You are impressed.

You alight between

his spread wings.

He wraps one around you;

the match is made.

You are seasonally monogamous,

but it might be two years

before your parental duties end,

and you can move on.

If a two-year commitment

gives you reason

to doubt your choice,

because it is the size

of the throat sac that counts,

return to the beginning

of this chapter.

There are many more

fish in this sea.

Chapter Three

You are a Galápagos giant tortoise,

watching two males fight for you-

face-to-face,

up on their legs,

stretched necks,

gaping mouths.

The smaller one retreats;

the victor claims his prize.

If you find dominance displays infantile,

skip to Chapter Six.

The foreplay is rough.

He rams his shell into yours,

nipping your legs.

He awkwardly mounts you,

stretching and tensing

his neck and legs

to stay balanced.

The queue of males behind you

must wait two hours

for this fellow to finish up.

His concave belly

atop your convex shell,

you fit together like spoons.

He hoarsely bellows and grunts,

groans rhythmically atop you.

If you prefer softer, sweeter sex sounds,

skip to Chapter Six.

Six hours later,

you complete copulation

with the last male in the queue.

You are exhausted,

but the hard work is behind you.

Once you lay your eggs

in a nest hole filled with urine,

you leave the sun

to do the incubation.

If you prefer more active parenting,

with both of you involved,

jump to Chapter Six.

Chapter Four

You are a waved albatross.

Courtship is an elaborate dance,

a series of displays repeated

in different orders until perfected-

bill circling,

sky pointing,

shy looking,

drunken swaggering,

bill clapping.

Multiple males approach you

to show off their moves,

but the dancer

with grace of carriage

and youthful spring,

he who can make

even a complicated choreography

distinct to see,

is the one who attracts you.

If you prefer a simpler

yet equally engaging dance,

refer to Chapter One.

You are partners for life,

living into your late thirties.

When your chicks hatch,

you put them in small nurseries

while you both go off to hunt.

If you prefer one of you

stay home with the kids,

return to Chapter One

(but be careful-

it’s a recipe for adultery).

Each year after months apart,

you return to the island

where you first met

and dance again.

If he can’t find you immediately,

he is unfaithful.

If you prefer to be the adulterer,

skip to Chapter Six.

Chapter Five 

You are a Galápagos sea lion.

You bask on the beach

with girl friends

while your bull swims

up and down the coastline

barking long and loud

at any males near his harem.

If gifts are more

your language of love,

return to Chapter One.

He has been so busy

defending his territory

that he has not eaten in weeks.

He is exhausted,

and his sexual performance

has declined.

You watch the bachelors

he chases away

swim to a beach

down the coast.

When he is not looking,

you sneak off underwater

to visit the bachelor colony.

Young, horny, strong,

these males are everything

your bull is not.

With satisfied libido,

you return to the harem,

your absence unnoticed.

If sexual satisfaction

is an important determiner

in your choosing a mate,

return to Chapter One.

One year after conception,

you give birth to a pup,

synchronized with other

newborns in the harem.

Your babies grow together,

napping and learning to swim.

After a few weeks,

you mate again,

but your primary role is mother.

You tend to the pup

for three years.

In that time,

many bulls come and go,

leaving your children

and closest girl friends

the most important

beings in your life.

Chapter Six

You are a Galápagos hawk.

You soar through skies

screaming kee-kee-keeu,

but when you find a mate,

your call softens

to kilp-kilp-kilp.

You breed year-round

whenever the feeling

comes over you,

a few times a day

on a perch or in flight.

Your partner is monogamous,

but you sleep around-

up to seven males per season.

If you cannot handle

the emotional complexity

of an open relationship,

refer to Chapter Four.

Even with your promiscuity,

the commitment to him

is for life.

You use the same nest each year.

He stays close to home,

helping to incubate,

even feed the chicks.

The nest is never left

to fall apart.

You both add new twigs,

switching out old materials

with new and better ones

until it is four feet across.

If a bigger better house

is not important to you,

and remodeling is not

how you want to spend

quality time together,

return to Chapter Five.

Chapter Seven

You are a single American woman

on a vacation cruise

in the Galápagos Islands.

He is an Ecuadorian sailor

working on your yacht.

The dance begins at the airport

and escalates on the boat-

lingering eye contact,

up-down eyebrow flashes,

winking,

kissy lips,

“muy guapa,”

waist squeezing,

hands brushing calves,

kissing,

entering your cabin

to touch you all over.

The courtship dance lasts

several days in secret.

If he is caught by the captain,

he will be fired,

arrested by the police.

If secrecy is not a turn-on,

return to Chapter Five.

After four days,

you meet him

late at night above deck.

You climb down

the back of the boat

into the engine room

for the culmination

of the mating dance.

The next morning,

he dismisses touch,

avoids you for two days.

On the last day,

he pursues you again-

calls you wife,

expresses sadness

for your leaving.

As he drops you off

at the airport,

your eyes remain locked

until you can no longer

see each other.

If you prefer less push and pull,

a more consistent mating dance,

return to Chapter One.

You arrive at the end

of your Galápagos adventure.

If you have yet to find

within these chapters

the perfect partnership pattern

that works for you,

stay on the islands.

Revisit the chapters.

Unlike previous animals,

you can easily hop

between adaptations.

Stay longer in some chapters

and skip others altogether.

Or if several adaptations

are of interest to you,

and you would like them

all in one chapter-

a sexually satisfying,

monogamous, lifelong partner;

the sharing of parental duties;

an exciting courtship dance

that lasts for life;

and a community of friends

to raise your children with-

close this book.

Continue to evolve.

EVENT: Hockessin Art & Book Fair

I will be an exhibitor at this cool event in Hockessin, DE this Saturday, November 10th. Special deals on my new chapbook, Choose Your Own Adventure and Other Poems! And at 2:20pm, I will be reading a selection from my chapbook.

an excerpt from the title poem of my forthcoming chapbook, Choose Your Own Adventure and Other Poems

Choose Your Own Adventure:

The Galápagos Mating Dance

You are a single woman, about to embark upon your most challenging and dangerous mission. Equipped with a libido and the instinct to bear children, your objective is to find the perfect mating ritual in the Galápagos Islands. You bravely face elaborate courtship dances, rough foreplay, and single parenting – but will you return to the U.S. with the partnership pattern that works for you?

Chapter One

You are a blue-footed booby.

A male approaches you

and begins to dance,

taking giant steps in place

to flaunt his turquoise feet,

indicators of his health.

If red throat pouches

are more of a turn-on,

skip to Chapter Two.

He offers you twigs and grasses,

symbols of the nest

you will build together.

Impressed, you dance too,

face-to-face walking

on a treadmill.

You mirror each movement,

a connection found

in how much you can act

like one another.

His dancing escalates-

wingtips, tail, beak

all point skywards.

When you match

his sky pointing,

the bond is sealed.

He whistles; you honk.

Even after nesting begins,

you continue to dance.

If you would rather

he stop trying to get it on,

so you can focus

on being a mom,

skip to Chapter Three.

You both incubate the eggs,

taking breaks only to hunt.

While you are off to eat,

he strays from the nest,

dances the booby-two-step

with other females,

but when you return,

he comes back immediately.

If you prefer a partner

who can abstain

from flirting with others,

go to Chapter Two.

Your family stays together

six months, one season.

Once the juvenile leaves the nest,

you both move on to new mates-

no empty nest syndrome for you.

If you prefer a partner

to grow old with,

rekindling the romance

once the kids are gone,
skip to Chapter Six.

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